


Happy Anniversary

by Remsyk



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Inspired by Music, Kinda, No Dialogue, Only in reference, Songfic, Vague, also
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-24
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-12-06 06:33:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11594907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Remsyk/pseuds/Remsyk
Summary: Their milestones shaped them. Not all of them are worth celebrating.





	Happy Anniversary

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by "Point of No Return" by Starset
> 
> There's a memory of how we used to be  
> That I can see through the flames  
> I am hypnotized as I fantasize  
> Forgetting lies and pain  
> But I can't go back

The anniversaries were the worst.

Being who they were, there were lots of them. Some were more trying than others, yet no less important.

It began unofficially during the war. They had been used to working alone, thus were hyper aware of another's presence when missions brought them together. Each one knew when another was feeling... off.

Words were never spoken. Minor allowances, small acts of kindness, adjustments to ease their burdens were never acknowledged. It became an unspoken rule among them; do unto them as you wished someone had done to you.

They each mourned something different. A childhood lost, a family torn apart, a safe home destroyed, a future crushed, a mentor taken away. In the end, they each lost a part of themselves, embraced the void left behind, and built who they were on the broken pieces. They understood that about each other; a bond that never needed to be voiced.

The anniversaries became official shortly after they were assigned with Preventers. It was more out of necessity than a need between them. They were no longer the isolated youths, able to ride out their vivid memories and nightmares under the security of their fellow pilots. Now there were others, associates and agents assigned to work with them, a team effort. There was no downtime, no chance to escape and unwind, to release the pent up pressure and simply exist.

There had been an accident. A guard arriving too early, a decision made too quickly, without all factors being taken into account.

They couldn't blame his team. Not really, as much as they wanted to. For as much as Une preached working as a unit and learning your teammates thoughts, moods, and actions, the fact remained that the pressure and awe of working with a former Gundam pilot prevented most agents from gaining the required inflections. So they didn't realize he wasn't quite as focused as he needed to be, didn't notice the eyes that peered over the landscape and only saw the past, didn't hear the ghosts whispering in his ear. They didn't realize he looked at the enemy, and only saw the dead.

They wanted to blame Une. She hadn't listened to their warnings, ignored their requests to send one of them or even change the day of the operation. They had given her as much justification for their requests as they could without compromising his memories, yet still she refused.

He wanted to blame himself. One day out of an entire year shouldn't affect the way he conducted himself. It shouldn't control his thoughts, actions, his feelings the way that it did. It was infuriating that after all this time, he still couldn't let go. It was unbearable that it still hurt.

It had been difficult to admit, but lying in the bed, after two bullets and twice as many surgeries, he finally started talking, opening up his past to the only other people who would understand. One by one, they had shared their stories, baring their souls and finding no judgement from the witnesses. Only a kindred spirit, and a stronger bond.

They made a pact that day, standing vigil around his hospital bed, much to his annoyance, that they would set aside time for their anniversaries. They each knew the dates for the others; it would be simple enough to coordinate. The difficult part would be getting Une to sign off on it. They had survived a war; they could survive a little extra paperwork, despite the overly dramatic argument to the contrary.

From that point forward, when a date was approaching, they would compare their schedules, laying out timelines for operations, training missions, and assignments, and decide who would set aside time. They had tossed around the idea of all of them taking off, but quickly scrapped it in favor of discretion and privacy. No one wanted Une or anyone else asking more questions than they should. They also didn't want enemies learning their schedule, potentially using their personal time as a chance to execute their plans unchallenged. They did agree, however, to be on alert for the day, ready to leave at a moment's notice.

Une had been surprisingly easy to convince, though in retrospect, it was easy to see why. Having one of her top agents confined to a hospital bed for a month had relaxed some of her inhibitions. The guilt she felt for ignoring their warnings didn't hurt their cause, either.

After that, whispers began to spread through the office, rumors between the agents, of the changes within the former pilots. It was subtle, negligible things at first. One hadn't shouted when a rookie tripped over his own feet during sparring. Another had corrected an agent's grip on his weapon instead of commenting on his competency. This one fixed a secretary's paperwork error that would have resulted in another write up on his record. On and on the oddities mounted, spreading like wildfire through the office.

Alone, they were hardly worth mentioning. Together, they amounted to a wealth of evidence that something was changing in the legendary pilots, and no one was quite sure what to make of it.

They ignored it all.

So the anniversaries came and went. With each milestone, it became a little bit easier, a little less weight to bear, the memories not as painful, the nightmares not as vivid. Each anniversary, they grew a little closer, shared a little more, and let go of a bit more of the past.

The following year, they had a new anniversary to mark, one they all had in common. The day they decided to move forward together, reflect on their lives, and honor their past.

The day they would celebrate their future.

**Author's Note:**

> I also want to thank ClaraxBarton, Kangofu_CB, GoodIdeaAtTheTime, and Amberly for being the angsty demons they are, and inspiring me to write this. <3


End file.
